Mario’s True Origins
So, after much scientific study and research, Mario’s true origins have become plain. Initially, we could only narrow it down to 3 possibilities.
1) Mario is an Italian plumber just like Nintendo says… but this just doesn’t seem to be the case. Look at the poor guy, he is chasing goombas and koopas around, and only occasionally does he work on any pipes. And when he does work on people’s pipes, can you really call the work he does good enough for a tradesman?
2) Mario is Jewish… maybe even a Jewish pirate (or maybe just a pirate). He is obsessed with that which is shiny. Coins of all size, shape, and color. Stars are another favorite of his, for he must, at all costs, find the stars. The stars are shiny and remind him of where he belongs, amongst them.
3) Mario is Irish. To be more precise, Mario is a Leprechaun, and a well disguised one at that. Course, if you are going to argue he is disguised, you must be under the impression that all Leprechauns dress in green overalls and never veer from this wonderful fashion statement. So besides the fact that he wears the get-up of a Leprechaun in different colors, he is also obsessed with gold (just like the pirate theory, but more applicable). He hordes it, and also is constantly trying to collect his lucky stars.
By the stars, Mario is most definitely, 95% Irish! I say 95% because we must still say that he has 5% Italian plumber simply in honor of Nintendo and Mario’s legacy leading up to this shocking finding.
